Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week

What many parents are carrying quietly

There is a version of pregnancy and early parenthood that is often shown to us.

Calm. Joyful. Instinctive. A time of connection. Glowing.

And sometimes it is. (Apparently!)

But for many people, the lived reality feels very different.

It can feel like exhaustion you cannot recover from, emotions that feel unpredictable, and a quiet sense of not recognising yourself anymore.

And often, people think they are the only one feeling that way.

They are not.

This is more common than most people realise

Maternal mental health difficulties are not rare or unusual.

They are part of many families’ experience.

Research shows:

• Around 1 in 4 women experience a mental health difficulty during pregnancy or in the first year after birth

• Up to 27 percent of new and expectant mothers experience emotional distress in the perinatal period

• This can include anxiety, depression, trauma responses, intrusive thoughts, and emotional overwhelm

What it can actually feel like

Many parents describe a similar pattern, even if their stories are very different.

It can feel like:

• Constant worry that does not switch off

• Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected

• Going through the motions but not feeling present

• Irritability or overwhelm that feels out of character

• Thoughts like “I should be coping better than this”

• A sense of being alone even when people are around

And perhaps most importantly, it can feel like something you should be able to manage on your own.

So people stay quiet.

Stigma is still one of the biggest barriers

One of the most consistent things I see in my work is not lack of need.

It is silence.

And that silence is often driven by stigma.

People worry about what it might mean to speak up.

They think:

• What if I am judged

• What if I am seen as a bad parent and everyone thinks I'm failing

• What if someone thinks I cannot cope

• What if this leads to involvement from social services

• What if I am the only one feeling like this

So instead of asking for help, they try to carry it alone.

They minimise it.

They wait.

They hope it will pass.

And often, by the time they do reach out, things feel much heavier.

That is not about individual failure. That is what stigma does.

Why this matters so much

We know maternal mental health difficulties are common.

But there is another part of the picture that is harder to talk about.

In the UK, suicide is the leading cause of direct death in the perinatal period within the first year after pregnancy.

This does not mean that most parents are at risk.

It does mean that for a small number of people, distress becomes overwhelming, particularly when support is delayed, hard to access, or does not feel safe.

And in many of these cases, there were earlier signs of distress.

Not always obvious. Not always visible. But present.

This is why early recognition and compassionate response matters so much.

What good support should feel like

When support works well, it is not complicated or clinical in feel.

It feels like being met as a person, not a problem.

It feels like:

• Being listened to without judgement

• Being taken seriously the first time you speak

• Not having to prove how hard things feel

• Care that understands trauma, identity, and neurodivergence

• Joined up support that does not require repeating your story

• Support that includes the whole family context

Most of all, it feels safe enough to be honest.

Support is available

If any of this resonates with you, support is available and you do not have to wait until things feel worse.

You can start with people who are already part of your care:

• Your GP

• Your health visitor, who supports both you and your baby

• Your midwife or maternity team if you are pregnant or recently postnatal

There are also organisations that offer support and information:

• Mind

• Tommy’s

• Samaritans on 116 123 if you need to talk immediately

• NHS Talking Therapies, where self referral is often possible

If you ever feel in immediate crisis or unsafe, urgent help is available through NHS 111 or emergency services.

Reaching out early is not overreacting. It is care.

A final reflection

Most people who struggle during this time are not failing.

They are managing more than anyone can reasonably be expected to carry alone, often while trying to meet every expectation placed on them.

And doing so with very little space to pause or be heard.

If there is one thing I hope this week brings into focus, it is this.

You do not have to wait until you are at breaking point to deserve support.

Maternal mental health is not a side issue and you are not failing.

When we respond early, with care and without judgement, it can change everything.